There Is No ‘Practice Life’

photo by Brett Gillean. Lifenectar.be

“To live in the continual acceptance of death means to live with the continual threat of the unexpected.” – Richard Rudd, Gene Key 28: Purposelessness – Totality – Immortality

Is anyone else out there having the experience of the Universe not buying your song and dance? The last two weeks have felt like a consistent demand from on high to quit messing around and get on with the REAL dance. The authentic dance of who I really am, and what I really came to do here. Every now and then you see a piece of art, or read a book, or attend an event that gives you all the shivers, answers all the questions and assuages all the doubts. It also brings you face to face with your deepest fears and leaves you nowhere to run. This last week I’ve encountered one in each category.

For me, the fear that continues to rear its head most vehemently and sends me running, is rejection. That unexpected denial of who I am and what I value by someone else. The result? I defeat myself before I even attempt. It feels safer to remain small for the moment and wait until I have my shit totally together before putting myself out there, blemishes and all. But my life isn’t waiting. Death is certain and I can’t make everyone happy. All I can do is look back into that mirror – life, dance with the imperfections present and trust that what I’ll be shown is exactly what I need to see to continue growing.

“There is no ‘practice life’.” – Michael Brown, “The Presence Process”

I’ve spent so much of my life waiting; until the right time, until I was ready, until I had all the skills, until I had the best idea, until I had all the right people around me who wouldn’t hurt me. The truth is: the circumstances in my external environment are never going to be perfect as long as I am addicted to needing to see my impossible internal illusion reflected on the outside before taking a risk. I’m getting the message loud and clear that I need to give up the mental game, and just dance. As Tasha’s video above affirms: “We came to dance.” However we are, whatever our fears. Life isn’t waiting for us to decide we’re ready. The music is playing and the invitation is given. Uncertainty reigns. Death is assured. As long as I hide from my fears, I will remain paralyzed and impotent to actualize my Purpose. Only when I face them, befriend them and dance with them by my side through the darkness do I gain the strength to do great things.

Each of these videos holds a key or set of keys for me in moving through some challenging places in my life right now. May they empower and enrich you as well. 🙂

In connection,
Wren

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